Staying focused

I'm going back to the U.S. soon, in just over a month. There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to, but it's strange...I really have to remind myself about them to keep my spirits up. Right now my mind keeps focusing on all the things I'm going to miss about being in Japan. Feels much harder to leave than it was to initially come here. I guess that's because of the roots I've put down over the past three years. Leaving Yoshie will be the hardest part, but it's something that we're trying to deal with. At least she'll come visit the States in the fall.

Something's been bugging me a lot the past few weeks, though. I'm usually the kind of guy who thinks about things a lot and internalizes. I usually look calm and focused, but I play things over in my mind and anticipate things, good or bad. This time, though, I'm really doing my best to just enjoy what time I have left here and not worry too much about going home. I think that's the best thing for my mental health right now. But it's been very difficult to just focus on the moment, thanks in large part to many of the people around me.

I guess I can hardly blame them. For a lot of people it's an easy topic. Instead of saying to me how hot or wet it is recently, they say "So you're going home soon, huh?" It's really started to grate on me, and I'm getting sick of telling people what I'm doing and where I'm staying when I do go back. My coworkers are curious, I know. But it's not something I want to dwell on. It's not that going home is unpleasant...I love my home and the U.S., and that's why I'm going back. But it's going to take time to readjust, and there are also a lot of things I love about being here. I guess I just wish I could enjoy it unspoiled and outside of the restrictions of time just a bit longer.

Well, as they say...しゃないな。Just gotta do what I can and try to ignore the distractions.

By the way, if anyone knows of a good (international) shipping company for large items, please let me know! Would like to take my Korg keyboard home, but an estimate from one shipping company placed the price at around 60,000 yen! That's more than I paid for the damn keyboard. May have no choice but to leave it behind and try to sell it at the last minute or give it to a friend.