J Girl Adventures

My good friend Paul asked me to write for his blog, so here I am. You might have seen me making less than constructive comments in the comboxes from time to time. If you haven't you aren't missing much. I currently live in the USA but I've spent about a year and change in Japan (not consecutively) and make my way back there from time to time. My Japanese is excellent if you are only interested in talking with people under the age of 4, but I think that's just cause they don't catch on to the fact that I really don't know what they are saying.

At this point if you haven't given up you might be asking yourself a few questions:

1.If he doesn't even live in Japan why is he writing for a blog about days in Japan?

2. Why is the post called "J Girl Adventures?"

3. Why don't they sell Cheez-Its and Goldfish in Japan? They are delicious.

The answers to 1&2 I'll get to shortly. The answer to number 3 is &$%*!

The reason this post is called J Girl Adventures is due to the short black haired girl (she's in her 20's, don't call the police) sitting next to me while I type this, singing a song consisting only of the words (?) "chuck" "tock" and "cluck." I don't know what it means. She is Japanese (though I'm pretty sure her song is not). If I gave you her name she would kill me so I'll just refer to her as "Chibi." I promise she does exist. She does lots of crazy/funny/mind-searingly frightening things and because she comes from the land of the rising sun I get to write about them here.

Here is an example:

Picture a strikingly handsome man with chiseled features sprawled out on a futon watching the epic drama of "Deal Or No Deal." Enter Chibi.

Chibi: What are you doing?

Me: Watching TV.

Chibi: OK.

Chibi then proceeds to make her way over to me and begins poking me with her fingers in my stomach rather firmly with an inquisitive look on her face.

Me: What are you doing?

Chibi: ....

Continues to poke me

Me: Are you checking for something?

Chibi: Yeah checking to see if you are benpi or not.

Me: ??

Chibi: Seeing if you are constipated.

Me: Do I look constipated?

Chibi: No.

Chibi gets up and leaves.

I learn new words every day.